The Need For Self Care
One of the most important aspects of healthy mental functioning is having and engaging in proper self-care. As a therapist, I help people understand many different aspects of their mental health, including what we call “psychoeducation, “ which helps people understand the ins and outs of issues like depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and other things related to mental health disorders. I also discuss proper medication management as an adjunct therapy, describing the various types of medications which are available to those who experience mental health disorders and their symptoms. I also use cognitive behavioral therapy, and how powerful our thought life can be. Our thought life really defines what our feelings and behaviors will be. So it’s very important to get a handle on addressing negative and distorted thoughts.
But the issue of self-care is equally important to all the above approaches. Self-care is about taking the time to attend to your own physical, emotional and spiritual needs. It involves making sure you have time and opportunities to recoup and recharge. We all are actively engaged in life, and life is at times overwhelming. We have work, our families, extra-curricular activities, gatherings, meetings, deadlines, and other stressful things that find their way to our calendar. We have much that demands our time, and often, there are not enough hours in the day to address these things and people which require our urgent attention.
This overwhelming barrage of information, and the imposition of others’ agenda creates a significant withdrawal from our emotional bank. We can often find ourselves literally depleted of energy, emotional capacity, and strength. It is no wonder so many people get burned out. Navigating competing requests from many people can make us feel insufficient and unable to sustain a healthy and functional day to day workload.
This is where self-care comes in. We have to make time to take care of ourselves. With you, the work you do cannot continue to go on. Without you, there is no paycheck, no job, no meaningful relationships. You simply must take care of yourself, if you are going to continue to live your life on purpose.
How Do I Start?
First, make a list of things that bring you joy, encouragement, rest, and relaxation. This will be different for every person, depending on your own interests. Think about everything you absolutely love to do. Then write each one down. Some very common self-care options include:
Riding your bike
Going for a run or a walk
Having a cup of tea or coffee while enjoying a good book
Patronizing your favorite bookstore, and reading and people-watching!
Playing an instrument, painting art, singing karaoke with friends
Swimming, playing tennis
Working out at the gym
Second, find at least one activity per week that is worthy of going into your calendar. By now, you have likely mastered the art of your daily tasks. You have a calendar, a smart phone, and you know when certain tasks are due. You have written them all down, and there they sit, neatly recorded in your calendar, diary, or phone scheduler. But there is a good chance that attending to your own self care does not find its way to your daily calendar. We need to see self-care tasks as not something to cause us work, but cause us to relax, rest, and recharge. Once we understand this, we can be diligent about making sure that our self-care plans get put into our calendars, so that they can actually have a chance at coming to pass.
Third, make sure you have holes in your week with lots of margin for these fun things. Margin means room, or space to sit back and enjoy your fun activities. Don’t simply cram your week with work. Leave time in your week for taking care of yourself.
So now it is up to you. What do you enjoy doing? What makes you happy and fulfilled? Give it some thought this week and create some time to do the things that help you rest and relax!
