Anger Outbursts
Do you have problems with anger? I know many people have difficulty managing their emotions, and especially the issue of anger. This is an approach I use called "Stop, Think, Act" for people who have a hard time controlling their anger.
Regarding anger, there really is nothing wrong or abnormal about being angry. Everyone gets angry. The problem comes when the way you express it becomes harmful for others. One of the most basic tools I teach clients about anger outbursts is the "Stop, Think, Act" approach. Normally, people who have anger outbursts do these outbursts sort of as an automatic reaction to a trigger. They don't even think about it. It just comes "naturally" because this has been their habit for many years. But "Stop, Think, Act" will help you to take a breath, and pause before you do or say something you will regret. To stop first, you have to do or say something pretty firmly to interrupt that coming anger outburst. I tell people to do something like clap your hands once and say to yourself, "STOP!" You have to do something radical like this to interrupt the predictable, toxic reactions your normally give out. Many people go " zero to sixty" in their anger, it happens fast - no time to stop or think. So make yourself PAUSE briefly by telling yourself to stop first. Then, just think. Think about why you are angry. Think about what you are going to do about it. Is this something that can be handled differently? Can you take 5 and excuse yourself and go for a walk to cool down? Do you need to do that to avoid "blowing someone's hair back?" Do you need to address this issue right now? Is this the best time to do that? Can you calmly communicate your frustration, and refrain from accusing someone?
Do you see how many options you have here at "Think"? You have many ways to process after you stop.
Then the final one, "Act". Now you have choices. Now you are not boxed in to your old, toxic cycle of verbal abuse or unnecessary conflict. Now you can move forward with the response you REALLY wanted to do in the first place.
What do you think about this? Do you have difficulty managing your anger? Do you have difficulty being able to express your anger in a diplomatic and positive way?
